Hey TED fellows, Happy Lunar New Year of the Dragon! Here is my short essay "Got Jeong" that I wanted to share with you cuz you folks got some massive jeong! (Anthology "Pho for Life: A Melting Pot of Thoughts" in which this piece is featured is available on Amazon)
“Got Jeong?” by Esther K. Chae
When I hear the word “love” in English, I tend to ponder the Korean concept of “jeong.” Written 정 in Korean, 情 in Chinese.
Pre-google, I was always at a loss when I tried to express this word and concept to English speakers. Now post-Google, jeong is defined on Wiktionary :
정 (jeong), pronounced as 'jeong' (sometimes spelled 'chung'), is a combination of compassion, empathy, and bond on a very soulful level. It is a connection that is formed between persons. Example pseudo-Korean phrases are: "That person's 정 is deep," "He has no 정," or "We live and die according to 정." http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%EC%A0%95
Since language defines a person’s thought and is a portal to understanding one’s culture, if one’s language does not have a word to express a concept in a particular culture, does the person therefore not feel these emotions?
My attempt of definition. Jeong = Love brewed with time+bond+endearment+warmth+empathy+ a dash of pathos that brings a sensation of welling both in the eyes and heart. Most times unspoken and expressed through subtleties. Yes, it can also lean towards maudlin sentimentality.
OK. So. An example.
When I was a graduate student at Yale Drama, I would fly back once a year to Seoul to visit my parents, relatives and family. I would have to immediately make a round of formal house greetings to my hal-muh-nee (grandma) and elders. And yes, just like any and all grandmas of the world, feeding me was her way of showing me her jeong. I remember as a child looking up at my parents for help with pleading eyes and a belly ready to burst when hal-muh-nee would be annoyed that I was supposedly full and was refusing her third helping.
Things did not change just because I was older, visiting from abroad and an acting student. I remember that particular visit with hal-muh-nee, I wasn’t staying long. I told her that I might not be able to visit again before I left Korea. She asked when I would be back. ‘Maybe in a year?’
She stopped eating her soup with rice in it. We sat silently for a while. She ate another spoonful of rice, stirred the remaining in the bowl and then pushed it in front of me. I ate the remaining and finished her bowl of soggy rice. I started to feel my eyes and heart welling. I understood that she wanted the same nourishment to be inside my body and become flesh and bone that would connect me and her. That was her way of infusing me with her great jeong.
She died the next year. I thought I was lucky that I was back for the winter holidays and was able to exchange a few words before her passing. My aunt said it was not luck but her determination that she would see everyone for the Lunar New Year and then leave us. Of course.
In my solo performance SO THE ARROW FLIES, elderly Mrs. Park is one of the most beloved characters. She is a 60 something year old first generation immigrant who survived the Korean War. A former linguist professor who taught in Seoul, she now lives in the U.S. with her FBI agent daughter. I believe one of the reasons audiences around the world adore her so much is that her character is infused with jeong.
SCENE 1 MRS. PARK/ LIVING ROOM
Mrs. Park, 60 years-old, FBI Agent Park’s mother, Korean accented and lively, enters.
Hello! Hi~ So sorry to keep you waiting, but my daughter Jiyoung just called and she can not join us for dinner. She works very hard, even on weekends because she has a very important case about a North Korean spy. Oh, I didn’t tell you? My daughter is an FBI agent! Federal Bureau Investigation agent!!! I like to say that, sounds ve~ry cool! Can you imagine, my daughter working for the American government.
My Ewha university alumni friends are scared of Jiyoung. But that day she was in a hurry, so she just came down the staircase with out her jacket on and they saw the gun strapped around her. They said ‘uh-muh-na, she carries around a gun?’ So I said, ‘ she’s FBI agent, what does she carry around- banana?’ I don’t know what they are more scared of. That Jiyoung carries around a gun or that she works mostly with white Americans, or that she is not married or because they think she is gay or because she has stupid horrible chestnut haircut! I think it’s because of stupid short chestnut haircut. I keep telling her ‘look at all those women on CSI shows, they have nice hair!’ But she doesn’t listen to me… But I understand. She’s very pretty you know, so she can be very distracting to men. So she has to dull and mute herself, you know what I mean?
But most importantly, she has to be inconspicuous because she put some bad villains into jail. And sometimes the villains come back out to hunt the agent down. She has a photocopy in her desk of all the villains’ faces who are now released from jail. She looks at it often to recognize them just in case they come after her. (hushed) So after I saw this on her desk- I secretly made photocopy of the photocopy. So I too can study very carefully each face-how high the nose is, what kind of skin color, what eye shape, how sharp their chin is.
I see everything. I have noon-chi. Noon-chi. Ah, too bad English doesn’t have this word. It means “eye-sense”. (points at her eye) Know what is going on. I have hyper eye sense. So if I see those villains from the photocopy, I can report to the police or call my daughter or distract them or do something, you know? So I can be undercover agent for my daughter! (looks at laughing audience member) You laugh now, but you are too young to understand. That is how a Umma’s heart is, that is what I will do for my daughter.
(Later in the play, Mrs. Park explains more about her daughter who the audience has only seen as an interrogating FBI agent.)
SCENE 12: Mrs. Park/Living Room
My silly girl Jiyoung. She was always fighting when even when she was young. Tom boy, Tom boy. (she shadow boxes) Tough girl. But not because she is bully, but you know, it was hard for her growing up in a small town in Georgia, no Asians there.
I remember one afternoon, Jiyoung come back home, hit all over her face, dress torn, noise bleeding. I screamed “Jiyoung, what’s wrong, what happened?” But Jiyoung just stared at me. She did not even cry, she just said she had to take care of some bad boys.
Then she went into the bathroom and grabbed the scissors. I was so scared she was going to hurt herself or someone, so I ran after her and tried to take it away from her, but she was already very tall and strong by then. And she look at me and said “Umma, don’t worry. I’m just going to cut my hair.” I said, “don’t do that, you have nice hair. Jiyoung, don’t do that.” But, she doesn’t listen to me.
Then she just snip, snip, cut off her long beautiful hair. I just watched her. She stared at the mirror for a very long time. I think she forgot I was there because she jumped when I came behind her to style her hair to look better. And I said. “You are right, Umma was wrong. Buddha says hair is the weeds of ignorance. That’s why monks are bald. You are too smart to be vain and carry around so much hair. I like this new hairstyle.”
(agreeing with an audience member) Of course I was upset! My girl is so pretty and now she looks like Peter Pan boy. But I had to acknowledge Jiyoung’s actions and kind of ritual, you know? Then I made a promise with her. “Umma will not dye or pluck my grey hair, so it reminds me of my old-age and impermanence, and keeps me humble too, OK?” And then we made pinky promise. Sealed with a stamp. (motions making a pinky promise)
But that’s all I could do. Make a promise. I felt very very sad that I could not protect my daughter more. And give her all that she needed and deserved, but I was so busy and tired working all the time. From professor to factory worker.
Anyway, so that’s why I don’t dye my hair. I know, I know I would look at least 15 years younger but I made that promise with Jiyoung.
Inspired by my parents and their parents and my friend’s parents-Mrs. Park is an ode to all first generation immigrants and their concept of expressing filial jeong towards their children.
The Korean word 정’s pronunciation jeong comes from the Chinese characters 情. It consists of 心(heart) + 靑(blue). Not red for passion or pink for romance or purple for courage. But a Blue Heart. Talk about a bad ass-old school-one character tweet with so much poetic depth and meaning.
